"In the rest of the world, this is not allowed. And doing what is not allowed feels very good."- Argentinean Bloke on the TT Documentary.

 

 

 

 

"When you go down Bray Hill for the first time, you'll forget everything. All the hassle, the fear, the worry, it's gone. It's the best thing you'll ever do on a motorbike. " - Nick Shorter

 

 

 

 

"You've finished? Thank fuck for that. I'm going to have a brandy"- Dad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Well, where do I start?

 

I suppose perhaps an explanation of how it all came about. Like a lot of people, I used to think the idea of racing around the Isle of Man was absolute madness. Walls! Kerbs! Lamp Posts! You're having a laugh! Dan once suggested he might be considering it and I actively discouraged him.

 

I'd been to watch the TT with friends in 2005, 2006 and 2007. The spectacle of bikes howling past within arm's reach at 180mph is quite a thing. I was in awe of the riders. How could they remember it all? The first visit for me was on a ZX9R, then the next year on a Yamaha Fazer. Neither bike particularly excited me. They were more modes of transport than fun. I enjoyed watching the racing and going out in Douglas at night. I didn't envisage going to the Island for anything else.

 

Then, in 2007 for the Centenary Celebration, I decided to take my van over, complete with my trusty Aprilia RS250 in the back. By then, I'd been racing for three years so my riding had come on quite a bit. I was addicted to 250 smokers, so my first race bike with tatty bodywork, daytime MOT and race numbers still on it was a bike that DID excite me. It was inspiration for me to get the odd early night and try to actually ride some!

 

The week started off brilliantly. I was having an absolute hoot, buzzing around the island on my 250 with the full Arrow system crackling and popping. The thing positively encouraged you to ring its neck. On the twisty parts it let me take the most ludicrous liberties. A mate said he stayed behind me on the mountain on his 600 just for the smell of the exhaust fumes. All was well.

 

Then, on a sunny afternoon, after screaming around the new Brandish corner and heading down towards Hilberry corner, I banged on the brakes to slow down for the approaching 40mph speed limit. There was a 40mph sign, with a three hundred yard sign underneath it. The two hundred and one hundred yard signs were visible further down the road shortly followed by a Policeman in a yellow coat who was waving me into the lay by. It seems that the yard markers were for the racers to show how far they were from the corner. The 40mph sign was indeed the beginning of the 40mph speed limit. That horrible sinking feeling that people describe when you get pulled is quite accurate. Very, very disappointing.

 

The Policeman was very pleasant as he explained to me the error of my ways, showing me the gun that was indicating 70mph, the speed he had clocked me at well inside the 40mph limit zone. I consider myself lucky to have been registered at that. He detailed how I was just inside the very top of the limit for getting fined and would most likely not have to appear in court. Thanks very much I said. I took the ticket, along with the instructions for where I had to go to pay. Myself and Neil, a fellow law breaker from the group, queued up outside the Police station on Saturday evening and proceeded to be educated in the workings of the Manx Judicial System. My fine came to £330, the only silver lining was no points on my UK license. Neil's was around the £200 mark. We were among some twenty blokes waiting to pay. A money making racket? No! It's clearly to make sure everybody is safe. Righto.

 

Later in the week I got a parking fine in Douglas too. I was beginning to think somebody somewhere had it in for me!

 

So, having been suitably fleeced, I spent the rest of the week abiding by the speed restrictions religiously. The bits I loved on the 250 were 50 and 60mph limits. The unrestricted parts of the island seemed few and far between and the mountain was invariably closed because some Joey Dunlop wannabe had got carried away with his delusions of competence and ended up lobbing his bike up the road. In summary, my fun had been severely curtailed.

 

As I lay in my van one night, I was just about to nod off to sleep when the thought snuck into my head……

 

"I wonder how quickly I could really go around here……….?"

 

 

And so it began……..

 

 Scroll forward 14 months…….

 

And I find myself riding past the very same spot where I had my brush with the Law. Except this time, I'm on a 600cc race bike doing well over 100mph. The only thing slowing me down is the approaching corner. No coppers, no Germans on touring bikes, no cars coming the other way. And guess what? It's absolutely brilliant.

 

Mind you, there was a lot that was between me deciding to do it and actually doing it…….

 

Preparation

 

I soon found out there's a lot of time, effort, hassle and expense involved in going racing on the Isle of Man. I found out that Mark Parbury, a fellow racer from YPM was going to do it, so between us we tried to figure everything out.

 

Licenses

 

You have to have held a National Level Race License for at least 6 months prior to the closing of entries. I'd finished more than enough races with the Yamaha Past Masters in high enough positions to hold a National license, but hadn't applied for one. I had to send the ACU copies of race results, which they proceeded to lose. Twice. I ended up emailing them links to the online records. Sorted.

 

You have to hold a "TT Mountain Course" license. To get one of these, you have to have another medical done by your GP, which can cost anything from £16 to £90. Then you have to give the ACU another £30. I was lucky with my check up, they only charged me £16 for mine. Poor old Mark Parbury got stitched up by his GP, who wanted £90. Mine didn't even need to see me, he just completed the form from my records! When I sent my medical report and application form to the ACU, they lost that too. Thankfully I'd paid for special registered delivery, so I engaged my most smug and righteous voice before I said, "No, Royal Mail hasn't lost it, YOU have. It was delivered to your office on this date at this time. I suggest you check again….." They found it. Funny what you find when you actually look. They'll probably find two copies of race results at some point in their "filing system". Muppets.

 

 Pit Crew

 

All races at the Manx are 4 laps. Solo motorcycles only hold enough fuel to complete 2 laps, so a refuelling pit stop is needed. You need at least 2 people to be pit crew for you. Lots of people said they'd most likely be able to do it, but I needed definite commitment. In the end, Dan, Craig and Gav promised me they'd be there. Rachel had of course agreed to be with me on the Island, but wasn't sure about how involved she wanted to be in the actual pit stops.

 

The Bike

 

I looked into what bikes were eligible for what classes and tried to weigh up what the best thing to buy would be. Believe it or not, after much deliberation, a 600 came out as the most sensible thing! Easier to find one that hadn't been raced to death or been tuned to the hilt. I didn't see having masses of power as an advantage if the thing was going to blow up on the first lap. More grunt than a 400 to get me going again when I would inevitably have to roll off for a corner I can't remember. I'd be able to get a slipper clutch fitted to minimise engine braking. Plus I'd always had a hankering for a 2006 R6….. I did a bit of research (not enough) and bought an R6 race bike package. The bike ended up costing a lot more than I had expected it to, but that's a whole other story.

 

I looked up the regs from previous years and found out most of the things I'd need to do to get the bike ready for the Island.

These included:

Lock wire wheel spindles

Lock wire all exhaust springs

Shark fin must cover sprocket/chain joint completely

Lock wire calliper bolts

Aluminium line the belly pan

Block off petrol tank overflow

Cut out lip in petrol tank to allow for maximum filling

 

I went through a serious amount of 1mm drill bits and nearly blinded myself by snapping them on more than one occasion. I also made sure the petrol tank was well and truly dry before going at it with a Dremel. Blinding myself would have been less than desirable, but taking off my eyebrows would have been adding insult to injury.

 

I decided that I'd race the 600 on short circuits for the year to get used to it. The only class I could run it in with Bemsee was MRO Super Sport 600. This is widely regarded as the premiere 600 club racing class in the country. The next place riders go if they progress from MRO is National level racing, so I was in at the deep end!

 

Entries

 

You have to register your interest early with the Manx Motor Cycle Club (MMCC) that you'd like to race. They put you onto their list of names to send the regs to when they eventually come out.

 

Strangely, there is scant information about the Manx on the Internet. I hunted high and low, unable to find much at all. The online forums seem to be deserted until a couple of months before the event.

 

The regs finally came through, so I sent my entries off for the Newcomer and Junior races as soon as I could. I was contacted and asked if I would consider entering the Senior instead of the Junior, which was oversubscribed. I explained that I couldn't because of the ferry crossings I was lumbered with, so she said they'd squeeze me into the Junior. Which I thought was jolly civil seeing as it was pretty much their fault I couldn't be there for the Senior (see below).

 

Ferries

When I spoke to the lady at the Manx Motor Cycle Club in January, I asked if I needed to book ferry crossings even though I hadn't even submitted an entry yet. She advised me that ferries wouldn't be a problem and that I shouldn't worry. This turned out to be a particularly bad piece of advice. I left the booking of ferries as advised and it was only when Nick Shorter told me in March when I saw him at Brands Hatch that I needed to book as soon as I possibly could. I phoned the Steam Packet (Racket) Company (the only ferry company that sails to the Island) the next day. The only crossings left that I could get on meant we'd arrive on the day before everything started at around six o'clock in the evening and meant we'd have to leave on the Thursday of race week. This was the reason I couldn't enter the Senior. I asked the mentally deficient Steam Packet woman to check to make sure there was no other availability. Which she promptly informed me in her best Brain Void voice there wasn't. Wonderful. The charge for getting the van and caravan over to the island? £550. Yes, you heard me right.

A couple of months before we were due to leave, Nick Shorter came through with a massive favour. He'd booked a ferry slot the year previous in readiness for doing the Manx again. He'd decided that he'd be giving 2008 a miss, so offered me and Rachel the use of his crossing to go over on the Thursday instead of the Friday. This would give us an extra day to get set up and sorted before things started. Between me and Nick, we managed to convey to the Steam Packet's spectacularly stupid staff what we wanted to do and the crossing was changed.

 

One good piece of advice I got from the MMCC is if you're planning on taking a caravan over to the Isle of Man, you have to request permission from the Manx Government. I wrote to them explaining that I was racing, detailing when we planned to be coming over and where we'd be staying. They replied with a letter granting me importation rights under the condition that we arrived and left exactly when I said we would and only parked the cazza in the exact location specified. Fail to comply with these conditions and you will be shot. And good luck…..

 

I got sent a load of info from a guy called Chris, who was the "Paddock Manager". He needed the dimensions of all the vehicles, caravans, tents motorbikes and anything else we were taking over. I can only assume he needed this so that he could add up the total amount of ground space required, then allocate us a pitch with approximately half that figure.

 

Homework

 

37.73 miles takes some learning. I was under no illusion that I'd be able to turn up and learn it in a lap. I watched hundreds and hundreds of onboard laps and went round even more times on the Playstation game. The circuit gradually started to become committed to memory. I thought if at least I can remember which way the next corner goes I'll have a good start!

I watched onboard laps by as many different riders as I could because they all comment on different things.

Nigel Davies comments on the wind getting under the bike on the crest after Crosby.

John McGuinness remarks on the line as you leave Kirk Micheal.

Ian Duffus moans all the way round about how badly set up his bike is.

David Jeffries tells you how just about everywhere is flat out!

Guy Martin talks as fast as he rides.

The playstation game is amazingly accurate if somewhat unrealistic. I can't imagine I'd fair so well if I ploughed into a wall at 190mph and I think I might struggle to lap at 134mph. But it does help you learn which way it goes.